The Magic Of Not Giving A F%ck

Are you stressed out and unfulfilled by life? Fed up with pleasing everyone else before you please yourself? That's your sign that it's time to stop giving a fuck.

The struggle is real, but so is the power of your mindset.

Let’s talk about it.

I've never really been one to give a fuck about the opinions of others and I've also lived so long suppressing my emotions that it was impossible to hurt my feelings cause for the longest, the only things I felt were happiness and passion. The rest, I ignored. But at some point, I recognized that if I don't allow myself to feel, one day, all the things I've bottled up and ignored are going to surface and I'm going to have a mess on my hands. So I decided to hEaL or whatever. Honestly, not a fan. I'd rather not feel. Which is TOTALLY ironic, considering I was a counselor before I spontaneously quit my job to turn my dreams into reality.

But that's the thing. I was an awesome counselor. I'm an empath, so I feel so deeply for others, but when it comes to me, I'm the first to put me last and I became so accustom to doing so, that I allowed it to become my norm.

I used to wonder why I allowed my peace to be interrupted by the same people, things, and experiences over and over again. I’d try to make sense of what I couldn’t understand, which was what I did to deserve all the struggles I’ve been handed on a silver platter, and why I wasn’t deserving enough to have a solid support system to lean on through my struggles. That weighed heavily on my heart until I understood that I didn’t need to try to understand. I just needed the trust the process and keep moving forward as my happy, go lucky, free spirited self, even in times my spirit felt broke.

I understand now that my struggle made me hard. Hard enough to free me of the limitations I placed upon myself, but still soft enough to bring light and warmth where it’s cold and dark.

Solid ass person, with good character, and a heart of gold. For what tho?

…to make way for all the genuine energy, positivity, and kindness that I’ve put into the universe to come back to me tenfold.

...to have the curiousity of a wanderer, instinct of a survivor, and the confidence to trust my intuition and be bold enough to take risks most people wouldn’t dare.

…to be courageous enough to be the one man army and village needed to keep my ship afloat

…to equip me with the capability to do anything I set my mind to, single handedly.

…to give me the power to accept the things I cannot change, the strength to let go of things that aren’t meant for me, and the wisdom to recognize when I’m blocking my blessings.

…to recognize my worth and raise my standards so high that it’s takes time, energy, and effort to reach them because I am wayyyyy too BOMB to accept any less than I deserve in any aspect of my life.

…to be resilient enough to bounce back from anything life throws at me.

…to be kick ass enough to share my light with the world, without letting the world dim my light.

It’s always been a flaw in my code. It begins with empathy and ends with loyalty.

I’m grateful that I never allowed the things I couldn’t understand to change my heart. I’m thankful for the ability to set boundaries in my life. And I’m blessed to have come to terms with the fact that I can no longer be the person in everyone else’s life that I wish I had in mine, nor can I be easily accessible to or readily available to energy that doesn’t match mine.

!! EMPATHY WITHOUT BOUNDARIES IS SELF DESTRUCTION !!

Read. That. Again.

Then, live by it, reveal the happiest version of yourself, and watch your best life manifest itself.

You see what I did there? I took my negatives and pulled positives from them. Changing your perspective from “poor me” to “blessed asf” changes everything.

I've spent far too long mad about the same things, over and over and over again. Mad that I don’t have better friends or more supportive family. Mad that I didn’t have better standards in men before I had kids. Mad that my kindness is often mistaken as weakness and being a solid person has rarely benefited me. Mad that I don’t have reliable people in my life or a group of mom and/or dad friends to have park dates and Thursday night dinners with.

But anger is a secondary emotion.

So I knew I had to address the issue at the source. And the source of my anger stems from hurt. I’m hurt that I see my friends at the bar every Saturday night but they can’t get a sitter two weeks in advance to be by my side for my store launch. I’m hurt that I have a family that smiles to your face and talks about you once you leave the room. I’m hurt that my children aren’t anyone else’s priority as they should be a priority in MANY peoples lives, not just mine. And I’m overwhelmed by it and exhausted by all the things I have to do in one day. I was annoyed that my energy is never matched and efforts in most of my relationships are uneven. I was upset that I’ve so often watered others, but rarely been watered in return. But more than anything, I was mad about the time and energy I've invested into things that didn't offer any return.

As I began to pinpoint how I really feel, I realized all I need to do is focus on me and give myself the time and energy that I give others. 

I’ve found that there is so much power in perspective and mindset is everything.

I redirected my attention to explore all the lessons I’ve learned from the things that have hurt me the most and it made me realize all the things that I have to look forward to and how much faster I could make them happen if I stopped putting my energy in things that don’t benefit me or match my vision.

I realized that the only person I’m mad at is myself for wasting so much time being mad about the same things and allowing the same things to weigh me down for so long.

Call me Karma Unleashed because I cut ties to everything weighing me down and started living my best life. There was a couple lose strings I had to cut ties with, but I have officially cut ties with EVERYTHING that weighs me down at the expense of my peace and my happiness. And now I’m enforcing the boundaries needed to maintain my distance, protect my energy, and prioritize myself.

I have goals to achieve and I can’t achieve them when I give the fucks I need to invest in them to everyone else, so I decided to create a “Fuck Budget”.

A place to put my fucks. Or more simply, changing my mindset and being more intentional with my time. I’ve said it time and time again, but I’ve never actually sat down and prioritized my fucks until this weekend.

I decided that while I do give a fuck about uneven efforts, but I don’t have the fucks to give to people who can’t match my fucks and my energy. If we’re not on the same level, I can’t extend my fucks. If it disturbs my peace in anyway, I have no fucks give to it.

I decided to invest my fucks in only things that promise a return. For me, that’s my own personal and spiritual development, as a person and as a mother, health and wellness, and my business.

Cheers to spooky season! Cause I ghosted everyone to focusing on myself, my family, and my goals.

Where are you investing your fucks? If you're feeling some type of way or not seeing the results you'd like to, maybe it's time to re-evaluate your "fucks" and create a fuck budget of your own!